Joe

ok now i want to talk about joe- yes the much hated figure in my life that spend all of my waking hours conciously or unciously to block him out of my life and the fact that 90% of my problems would be solved if he lived at a distance and far away from the way I want to live my life.

yes, the much hated figure that all that i am today is becuse of him and if he wasnt there i would have been nothing and yet i hate the very thought of him.

the very guy who broke the plates and made me and nima pick up the pieces with bare hands and that we had pieces lodged into our hands an legs and i had to pick it out later the next morning from beneath my skin coz i couldnt write with the pieces of china in my finger.

the very guy who came and spat on me an nima when he was brushing his teeth because we made too much noise and he couldnt sleep.

the very guy who told me to cover up in front of him and wasnt allowed to expose even my knees in front of him in the house

the very guy who comes up to your face and says that the only reason y im taking all this shit is because im stuck with you.

the very guy who tells you to try and get cheaper drugs for your eye infection coz he dosent wanna pay too much money

the very guy who tore off my shirt coz hes like you like buying new things dont you?

the very guy who has embarassed and humiliated me time and againin front of people.

the very guy who has made me miss so many meals coz he wudnt eat at the same table as me and i had to come back after everyone was done eating and come and eat the cold leftovers

the very guy who made a living hell of my 15, 16 and 17 bdays....because his social engagements were more important

the very guy who made me cry myself to sleep on countless nights where i would have to turn my pillow over coz it was soaking wet

the very guy that as far as i remeber was just the sound of screams and shouts and insults in the air while i tried to close my eyes and shut it all out

the very guy who tortured nana with every breath he took and my nana-taking it all in like an amazon

the very guy who claims that life has been unfair to him and all that and appears like a sad person but in reality has done so much damage himself

the very guy that im so similar to but hate the fucking idea and even if it means to go and get a blood transfusion and drain all my blood and replace it with some random guys to just rid myself of him- i would...

thats joe for you...

Nina