Guys....Cant Live With em Cant Live Without em

Yes GUYS!

ARRRRGH.....

let me begin by saying this

Pre Menustral Symptoms
Menopause
Mental Anxiety

Funny, how all our problems begin with men!

Yes...and they go and bitch about the fact that we make em miserable

i need a guy who looks at me in a way that makes my body tingle and we both know wats going on in his mind! i need a guy with big strong arms to hold me in his hands and pin me down and i wouldnt be able to move under the strenght! RRRrrrr. Yeah I noe Kinky!
lol....yeah wat do u expect im close to my monthly's of course im horny!

hmm lets see, i can think of a million things i would like to do and will want to do....hmmm but look at my options! they suck!

ok this one guy has been getting his act toghther but i dunno....im tired of dating ppl coz i feel sorry for em... everyone tells me im hot and sexy and attractive then y dunt u fucking make a move??
sheesh...my choices all suck...they have major faults that cannot be overlooked coz i noe its gonna create headaches later on....but then again,....maybe...i dunno...

i need a guy who noes how to kiss and noes wat to do and wat to say and how to say it and when to say it...i mean ppl claim to be valentions and don juans and cassanovas but are they really??
i dunt think so, u have to be exceptionally gud to actually reach to the level....i mean don juan didnt become don juan just coz a couple of gurls sed he was gud....no he became a god coz the whole latin community said so! yeah i noe the description that i have put up seems like close to impossible but i also like the fact that maybe i like to be admired like some expensive piece of jewlerry knowing that im shinning and sparkling and tempting but they cant have me....u noe the whole theory of u can look but u cant touch, u can touch but u cant taste, u can taste but u want more!!!looool!

sigh, i guess nobody's perfect but funny enuf i havent found a guy with my preferences yet, yeah sure everybody has their own faults and stuff but im willing to compromise, its not like im the perfect 10!

ANYWAYS, enough raving done!

Nina

A Glimpse...

nima just called me and gave me a piece of paper that was forgoten in some old textbook that was passed onto her and what do i see....a poem written while i was in skool

man i used to write back then, i used to read a lot, i used to think a lot but i dunno wat happenned- i dunt write or read anymore.... i dunno wat happened but i just realised that i have stopped a lot of things and have started many others!

well here ill give u a glimpse of wat i wrote...

....And yet the passage
of time like a cage
keeps us trapped in
our sorrows within
with all the hate
that i possess but fate
may have had ideas for me
maybe a better person to be
but what happened before
will never let me go
that hate is locked with
me and my heart therein
that hate in my heart
i bore til it beats no more....

yep sumthin like that...


Nina

i hate my life...

yea im depressed!

its the things that ppl say and do sumtimes that just hits a note and that note hurts! coz its the one u wanna keep hidden and not to think about.

yeah im fucking depressed!

ma dad is an asshole...some one i hate every fucking molecule in his body. i see ppl talk about their dads and how they love em and how amazing they are and it hurts me to noe that even tho i had a dad i wished i didnt coz i fcking hate his guts for all he has and hasnt done!

and on top of that i miss the strong arms of a man around me, who even if is going to use me at least make me feel loved for a day...to sit in beside him and watch the sun go down and have the salt breeze in my hair and a glow in my face, a smile on my lips and a joy in my heart.

its not like i did have any...just presenting the perfect cliched scene!

i hate my life!

nina

Trouble...

Trouble is getting old and sick and hes like fighting everyday with some othe ralley cat and its depressing..
his voice is all hoarse now from straining too much and its just getting worse and yeah i love him an all that but i cant publicly show it and if we lose him well...i will be very heart broken coz beneath all that meaness i do love him...
nana says shes gonna take him to the vet soon if he dosent get better and well fingers crossed lets hope that he does..
I have an interview tommorow for a vj thing for a tv station and i dunno if im gonna get or if its not going to be obstructed by joe...
lots of oppurtunites opening up and i wanna jump at them...lets c

Nina

Joe

ok now i want to talk about joe- yes the much hated figure in my life that spend all of my waking hours conciously or unciously to block him out of my life and the fact that 90% of my problems would be solved if he lived at a distance and far away from the way I want to live my life.

yes, the much hated figure that all that i am today is becuse of him and if he wasnt there i would have been nothing and yet i hate the very thought of him.

the very guy who broke the plates and made me and nima pick up the pieces with bare hands and that we had pieces lodged into our hands an legs and i had to pick it out later the next morning from beneath my skin coz i couldnt write with the pieces of china in my finger.

the very guy who came and spat on me an nima when he was brushing his teeth because we made too much noise and he couldnt sleep.

the very guy who told me to cover up in front of him and wasnt allowed to expose even my knees in front of him in the house

the very guy who comes up to your face and says that the only reason y im taking all this shit is because im stuck with you.

the very guy who tells you to try and get cheaper drugs for your eye infection coz he dosent wanna pay too much money

the very guy who tore off my shirt coz hes like you like buying new things dont you?

the very guy who has embarassed and humiliated me time and againin front of people.

the very guy who has made me miss so many meals coz he wudnt eat at the same table as me and i had to come back after everyone was done eating and come and eat the cold leftovers

the very guy who made a living hell of my 15, 16 and 17 bdays....because his social engagements were more important

the very guy who made me cry myself to sleep on countless nights where i would have to turn my pillow over coz it was soaking wet

the very guy that as far as i remeber was just the sound of screams and shouts and insults in the air while i tried to close my eyes and shut it all out

the very guy who tortured nana with every breath he took and my nana-taking it all in like an amazon

the very guy who claims that life has been unfair to him and all that and appears like a sad person but in reality has done so much damage himself

the very guy that im so similar to but hate the fucking idea and even if it means to go and get a blood transfusion and drain all my blood and replace it with some random guys to just rid myself of him- i would...

thats joe for you...

Nina